Crocodile Peterson
"Eat gnat!" -Crocodile Peterson Jay "Crocodile" Peterson is a well-known hunter, slayer, sex icon, playboy, and more. Jay is very familiar with Rhodesian wildlife. He can identify the exact species of a Rhodesian creature the second he spots them. He is responsible for the murder of the last Rhodesian. Biography Early Life Jay Peterson's past before his adventures has been left ambiguous, but we do know that his grandfather, Alfred "Buffalo" Peterson, died at the hands of the Rhodesians, along with his left hand, which has been amputated for a hand cannon. The First Adventure Before his fateful first and second Rhodesian expeditions, the previous which saw him lose a hand, and becoming an international icon, Crocodile Peterson went on frequent adventures and explored numerous uncharted areas of the world with his pet and good friend, actually, only friend, the snow leopard Banko. One of their endeavors goes back to their first adventure together, the search for El Dorado. Peterson had found an old map belonging to his grandfather, Alfred “Buffalo” Peterson, of South-America with a specific location of the Andes circled with words “Golden City” written above it, as well as a journal detailing his experiences. Crocodile quickly deduced that his grandfather was referencing El Dorado and it’s location. Search for El Dorado Fast on his feet, Crocodile Peterson followed his grandfather’s map and journal word by word straight to the Andes with Banko. Traversing the jungle and obstacles, Croc finally found his first clue. An old spike inscribed with a Latin text, “Sub amnem, semita autem est inventus, sed cave custodes”. An exact replica drawing of the spike was in the journal where the text was translated, it said, “Beneath the lake, the path you will find, but beware the guardians”. Crocodile knew the river must’ve been close and marched, yet wary of these Guardians the text was referring to. Moving forward through the jungle, Croc and Banko were at a dead end. The lake had miraculously vanished. Baffled and impatient, Croc stopped to think. According to the map, they were right on top of the entrance and lake. He sat down on a rock, suddenly the rock was pushed down into the ground, like a switch activating. Jay realized that they indeed were standing on the lake, it had just dried up. A gate opens up before them and Croc and Banko proceed further. Scrapes of a Golden City Arriving to a sealed entrance recquiring a puzzle to be solved. Certain reflected lights had to be aligned for the door to be opened. He looks into his grandfather’s journal but finds nothing. Buffalo Peterson never made it past this point. Croc had to figure this one out himself. Luckily, with the help of Banko, he figured it out and ventured into the mythical remains of El Dorado. Exploring the ruins of the Golden City, Jay is filled with pride that he finished this journey for his grandfather. But, it wasn’t over yet. Recognizing that he and Banko are surrounded by short green spiked creatures, Jay prepares to fight. These were the Guardians mentioned in the text earlier. Firing at some with his pistol and beating others with his electro pike, more and more keep coming. As Banko cuts a few down yet another wave conjures up. Croc figures that this is a battle they can’t win. So he surveys his surroundings and looks for a way out. Jay sees that the whole city is balanced by one Edifice in the middle of the city. He and Banko move towards it hastily. Dodging the spears being thrown and the jumping Guardians, Croc and Banko finally manage to lose them and hide behind a fallen building. Spotting the Edifice right in front of them, Croc sneaks his way to it without being noticed by the Guardians. With Banko on his back, he climbs to the top of the Edifice where he enters a tower. Jay looks for a shatterpoint in the structure. With time running out before the Guardians locate them, Jay has to figure something out fast. Understanding that the Edifice shakes just with Croc walking back and forth, with enough mass the whole thing should just fall over. Throwing his electro pike out the window and impaling one of the Guardians while alerting the others. Thousands of Guardians move to the Edifice and start climbing to the top all at once. The structure begins to shake and is on the verge of tumbling. Jay fires at the Guardians that come in through the window, but if he doesn’t get out quick, they’ll surely be overwhelmed. Grabbing his repelling cable he shoots it at the next closest building and swings to it with Banko on his back. The Edifice starts to fall with all of the Guardians on top of it, so does the city. Jay sees the entrance that they came from, he and Banko make a run for it. With the entire city falling apart around them, they barely make it over the bridge which is also crumbling beneath them. Before they’re able to jump to safety, a Guardian jumps on Banko and almost drags him down into the abyss with El Dorado but Jay grabs his paw at the last second and pulls him up to safety. Relieved that they survived and managed to escape but disappointed they didn’t pick up any artifacts as memorabilia, Jay walks back to the surface sadly. However, Banko rubs up to his leg and lays down a golden mask he picked up with his mouth. Happy, Croc pets Banko and picks up the artifact as they make their way back home. The Sponsorship with Whole Foods Expedition to Rhodesia As he was being interviewed in Rhodesia by Jamal Darnell from Good Morning Cosmos, he was simultaneously sponsored by Whole Foods. During this interview he speaks briefly of his television show, Man Against Wild, and of the Z files. While passing through the Rhodesian wilderness accompanied with Miller and Jamal, they encounter common Rhodesian fauna, such as a Nigerian Dumbleleg, a Vesenius Kongback, and The Rhodesian Ridgecunt. Being so familiar with Rhodesian wilderness he was able to dispose of a Dumbleleg and a Kongback with great ease, but the Rhodesian Ridgecunt was a more formidable foe. Even after capture, the Rhodesian Ridgecunt managed to escape and kill the Whole Foods Guy. The Duel Between Crocodile and The Rhodesian Ridgecunt ] After the Rhodesian Ridgecunt killed the Whole Foods Guy, filled with rage that Croc's chance at retirement was tarnished by the actions of the Rhodesian Ridgecunt, he engages him in a duel after The Rhodesian Ridgecunt monologues about the vague downfall of the Rhodesians. During this duel, The Rhodesian Ridgecunt utilizes multiple Rhodesian artifacts, such as The Mask of Translocation, The Shades of Time Perception, The Gloves of Reflection, and The Hat of Chaotic Reduction. ] In between the fighting, they start monologuing to each other. The Rhodesian Ridgecunt vaguely warns Croc that the Z files will be Croc's downfall. Also, he reveals to Croc that he was present at his Grandfather's death. After the Rhodesian Ridgecunt struck Croc down on the ground, he hesitated to kill him, because Miller and Jamal distracted him with ravioli. While the Ridgecunt is distracted, Croc stands up and thrusts the Umbrella of Ultimate Convenience right through him, delivering a fatal blow. Aftermath of the Duel After the duel is won, Croc walks to Miller and Jamal, barely in one piece. After Jamal's monologue, he is surprisingly killed by his employee and show guest, Miller and Crocodile Peterson, they justify it by saying that what he said was gay. After that Miller and Crocodile go to Papa John's Pizza Personality Even though he may be perceived as a good-willed, stable, wildlife expert, he is deeply troubled by his traumatizing adventures. The most damaging experience for him was when he lost Banko, a beloved friend of his that was also a snow leopard. After the death of Banko, Crocodile seemed to become the suspect for mass genocides for many species, like the Rhodesians and Bigfeet. All he really wants is to settle down and retire, which is why he made a sponsorship deal with Whole Foods in the first place. But after his sponsor was killed by the Rhodesian Ridgecunt, his killing spree instincts got resurrected and is now searching for the last Bigfoot. Powers and Abilities Powers * Energy Beam Emission: '''With his hand cannon, he can just about kill any creature he comes across by firing high intensity energy beams at his opponents. '''Abilities * Expert on Rhodesian Fauna: '''With his years of experience hunting Rhodesian animals, Crocodile has been able to identify any fauna that is native to Rhodesia, not just with his eyes, but his nose as well. Equipment * '''Hand Cannon: '''His weapon of choice when dealing with vicious Rhodesian fauna. It was amputated where his left hand is supposed to be after he lost it. It shoots plasma that is able to immobilize the target and kill it. Relationships '''Family * Alfred "Buffalo" Peterson - Grandfather † * Adam Sandler - Uncle Allies * Miller *Jamal Darnell † *Whole Foods Guy - Sponsor † *Banko - Feline Sidekick † *Dave Salmoni - Hunting Buddy Enemies * Bigfoot * Mark Walters * The Rhodesians ** The Rhodesian Ridgecunt †